When deciding on where to stay this vacation, I found these reviews very helpful, and I feel obligated to return the service. I hope you find my review to be helpful as well.

In brief:
Locals: Spanish or french, very little english. There are some that will use the language barrier to not serve you well rather than making the effort (keep in mind, money trancends all language barriers). The animation staff and those that do know many languages are a pleasure to meet and will do their best to make your stay a memorable one.

Hotel: not a 5*, more likely a 4*, but definately most bang for your buck. The Royal side is for snobs that don't like to interact and enjoy pure silence and the feel of luxury. If you like to talk on your balcony or have friends over to your room, stick with the regular side. The only significant difference is the furniture in the room and the quiet and privacy offered.

Hotel Restaurants: Buffets are good, but Specialty Restaurants are a must. Reserve ASAP as they fill up quickly. The earlier in the night your reservation, the fresher the food and the more variety you get. (They ran out of tempura ice cream one night at the Japanese restaurant as we had a 9pm dinner, but our friends who had 7pm reservations said they enjoyed second helpings of the ice cream). Wood-oven-pizza is a must! This can be found at the pool snack bar.

Casino: Stay Away! Slots, Poker, Black Jack, & Roulette are available.

Landscape: Very-well maintained and layed-out. Rather impressive. The pool is beautiful and very well designed. The only vaction (other than the MGM, Las Vegas lazy river) that I really enjoyed the pool.

Beach: Gorgeous. The beach is long and wide and covered in palms (a great touch compared to bare-naked beaches...which reminds me....topless women everywhere!). The water is clean (except for the inevitable floating weeds that are raked off the beach daily), the ocean floor/beach is a mix or live-rock, sand and weeds/grass. The live -rock has virtually no coral and few varieties of fish. The fish are mainly varieties of angel fish and groupers. There are 2 or 3 types of eels to be found not more than 20 feet out (all harmless of course)

The sun is freaking hot. SPF 30 is not enough. If you're pasty white like me, apply & re-apply and make the shade your spot of choice for the first few days until you get your base-tan.

Gift shops: after shopping at the vendors and seeing the duty free shop at the airport, the convenience store is reasonably priced for local goods. The Jewelry can be found cheaper at the beach vendors, but you have to question the quality of craftmanship and the material used.

Beach Vendors: 1/3 of the price asked is usally a safe bet. You can and probably should go cheaper too as even at a third of the price, they are tripling their investment. Figure they get their cheaper necklasses at less than a dollar. They're smaller paintings at a dollar or two. Mamajuana...pennies! Apparently it is the farmers who craft these wares on their spare time.

Excursions: Snorkelling is always fun in my books. The Marinarium is fun and you get to see nurse sharks and sting rays (less their stingers) as well as 30-40 mins to snorkel the reef. If you can get past the inhumanity of capturing marine life and mutilating them, its a fun excursion. The popularity of this excursion must be catching on, because I saw other "cages" being built throughout my stay.
The bavaro runner is interesting and can be a true eye-opener to the quality & way of life if you get the right guide. If you get a regular guide, just consider the excursion another day out of the hotel. Get a well informed and friendly guide and the day is worth every penny and more. Be sure to verify if your truck/runner has a tarp to keep you in the shade...the sun is brutal!
All othe excursions just seemed a money grab. We could have visited Saona or Catalina, but all it is is another beach and more drinks & food...which you get at your hotel. Consider it a day or half day out of your hotel.
The sea lion or seal show can be seen from the beach if you happen to walk by at the right time.


For those who are interested in a more detailed account, what follows is my story (The all-inclusive report)

Punta Cana Airport (arriving): Typical Carribean airport. Exit the plane onto the runway and walk to the security checkpoint. You are required to get a tourist visa (10$) to enter the country. Apparently this charge is now included in flight cost. Verify with your travel agent or at least be prepared to pay it upon arrival. The buildings are made of wood, rope, nails, and leaves. My only surprise was that you are allowed to smoke in line while passing through security. I was later surprised to find out that the picture they take of you with 2 local women as you enter the country is not intended as another money grab (as you are encouraged to purchase your photo upon departure (8$ Canadian)), but it is used to open a dosier and run a background check on you. (They are always watching you). Get involved in a fight and prepare to spend time in jail regardless of who started the fight. It may be worth it to take the beating rather fight back & do time. Get caught with 0.01g of any drug and expect to do a few months in the local jail only to be transfered to a Canadian jail to finish your sentence (a minimum of 3 years with parole & good behaviour). This info was received from a very educated ex-military police officer who acted as our Bavaro Runner tour guide. Education is "free" in the Dominican, but you are required to work a year in the service industry and repay 80% of your salary to compensate. This is how we came to meet our ex-military, police officer tour-guide.

Shuttle bus to Catalonia: Aprox a 20 mins ride once moving, but expect to wait for people needing that last cigarette before bording (as you might be able to tell by now, I am a resentful-non-smoker, inconvenienced by the freedoms of the smokers).

Hotel Catalonia (not the Royal side): Lobby and service upon arrival is standard as per Carribean 4* Resorts. They claim to be 5* but that is a bit of a stretch. Unless you are very trusting and don't mind waiting for your luggage to arrive at your room, don't opt for bellboy service and carry or roll your own bags to your room. If not expect a 20-30 min wait for your luggage.
You are given a welcome cocktail which in that heat is much appreciated. Be sure to verify your welcome kit. It should include your 1 room key (which you can request a second only after you go to your room and return after the check in rush), 2 towel keys, a safe key, 4 dinner reservation cards, and other literature. Be sure to plan your dinner nights and reserve ASAP, especially during peak seasons. (more on dinners to follow)

The grounds are very-well maintained with the pool as the "piece de resistance". They have a seperate pool for children, which doesn't mean the kids are contained to that pool exclusively. It actually turned out that the kids enjoyed the fountain and "jacuzzi" while the drunken adults prefered the kiddy pool. I use quotations for the jacuzzi as it is nothing more than some water jets confined to a seating area. The layout of the pool & jacuzzi though is quite nice. A very nice pool all in all. There are walk-ins, seating areas just a foot below water, a volleyball and water polo nets, and ample pool-side tanning area (be sure to get up early if you want a spot with shade).

Beach: Again, get up early if you want shade. Figure the best spots are taken by 10:20 am (just after breakfast ends)
The beaches are the first I've seen that integrate the palm trees. A very nice aspect that more beaches should consider. They offer natural shade and a more picturesque atmosphere. The sand is white-ish and cleaned every morning before 5am. (Interesting fact: minor infractions, roadway violations, and other fines are repaid through community service. If you get up early enough, you can find violators repaying their debts by cleaning the beaches while supervised by the police. All this is done around 4am so that they can still make it to their respective jobs). If you want to take a walk down the beach, head right to see the vendors, head left for other hotels. If you go left, it will be a good 40min walk before you see any other hotels. The vendors to the right are a 3 min walk. Eitherway, you may want to avoid the peak sun hours when walking longer distances. Even with spf 30 we burned on our 2h walk betweeen noon and 2pm. The beach never gets significantly nicer as you leave the hotel grounds. You are able to catch a sun rise from the beach, but it is rare to have a cloud free morning. It rained 4 of the 10 nights we were there, but only 3 of those nights were heavy rain. Mondays nights, avoid reserving at the specialty restaurants as they host a beach bbq with entertainment and drinks.

The rooms are nice with a roman tub in the bathroom (at least the Honeymoon suites have them. request a king size bed off the ground floor to ensure the tubs). A nice touch but pretty much useless unless used to cool your sunburns). Really in that heat, do you think you'll want to take a bath? Also, from the ant and spider stories I heard from other guests, I would recommend requesting a room on the 2nd or 3rd floor to limit intruders. The t.v cable is most likely loose, so be prepared to adjust it to get a clearer picture. The remotes don't work, but all you have to do is call guest services and tell them. They will send a new one over. The hammock on the patio is super comfy, however the beds are not. You can always request a smaller pillow if your triple sized pillow is too uncomfortable.

Restaurants: The buffets are good for the first few days, but you will quickly want to try out the specialty restaurants. If you have not reserved early into your stay, you may not get to try them out. They fill up really quickly. There are 2 buffets. 1 near the lobby and 1 by the beach. They are both open for breakfast and lunch. I never ate lunch there as the wood-fire oven pizza and rotissery chicken suited me fine all 10 days of my stay. This you will find next to the towel hut. Get to the buffets early in peak season as food runs out quickly.
The mexican & Japanese restaurants are AMAZING. The american grill (same kitchen as the mexican ) under cooked on every occassion...yet the mexican steak was spot on...go figure. Ask for your steak cooked longer than you really want and avoid the battered chicken at all costs...unless you like purple chicken. 6 plates of chicken were returned that I could see that 1 night I went there. The brownie however is to die for...so if you do get the chicken, at least get the brownie to make it worth while.
The french/italian restaurant was undergoing a transition and cancelled our 2 nights of reservations (not very professional). 1 night was a straight out cancellation, the other night was a "lost reservation". Don't sweat it though, they serve pasta at the buffets.

Casino: STAY AWAY. Worst odds I've ever seen. Roulette is ok, but they don't have a record of the last numbers played. Poker I avoided as I couldn't understand their explanation of the rules. BlackJack, which is my game, was the most brutal version I've seen. They don't check their undercard, so you don't know if the dealer has 21 when an ace or face card is showing. That eliminates all doubling and splitting if your wise when an ace or face card is showing. So what chance is left to make money other than ride out the cards? They shuffle by hand, so the 6 decks never really get mixed. (could be a good thing if you really pay attention). If you have less than 11 showing and the dealer has a 7 or higher showing, they don't ask if you want a card...you just get one. All in all I watched & played over 4 nights and the best odds I saw were an 9% chance of winning a hand. Thats roughly 1 win, 1 push and 9 losses in 11 hands. The slot machines didn't even tempt me.

The bars. 1 beach bar, 1 pool bar (swim up), 1 lobby bar, 1 premium bar & 1 rotating bar. The rotating bar shifted around the entertainment stage depending on weather. (indoors if raining). The best alcohol was at the premium bar, but make sure you watch them pour the bottle if you want 1 in particular. It took 4 attempts to get the premium rhum. She scammed me twice and the 3rd time after tasting the difference, had to insist twice and watch her to ensure she poured the good stuff. (Keep in mind, money talks, but you still need to be vigilant).
Oh, yes, money does talk. If you want something, and want it now, slip the staff a few bucks, if not expect to wait. Some staff will even brush you off if you don't speak spanish, french, or deniro.

Which brings me to the ProMarine shop. Complete confusion among the local staff. Be sure to get a straight answer from them and if they tell you to come back in later or wait 5 mins, consider it a brush off. The only part of the trip that frustrated me was the rotund employee who continuously brushed people off for free rentals and was overly aggressive in trying to get you to sign up for the excursions that cost you money. If you want to use the free equipment, be sure to sign up at the promarine shop and have them punch a whole in your bracelet. I was told to come back in 20 mins (I assumed because there was no equipment available), and when I did, he said it was okay, to wait by the beach. I did, and consequently watched couple after couple get the kayaks I was waiting over 1h30mins for. I got frustrated, told off the staff and walked away. I spoke to Thomas, the part-owner and operator, and he finally explained the procedure to me. Unfortunately, too little, too late.
Scuba Diving: Double & triple check your equipment, don't rely on your dive master. Thomas, the boss, is very friendly and is not above bargaining, so don't be afraid to haggle. Lee, the dive master, is a great guy and made my diving experience a pleasant one. Frank, still a nice guy, made me very nervous. Like I said, don't rely on your dive master to get you working equipment. Lee however, is more reliable, but it's your life...take the time to be safe. I was very disapointed that all my 4 dives for the open water certificat were at El nino. I was hoping to explore other locations, but due to strong currents (and possible lack of interest to bring me elsewhere on Thomas' part) I did all 4 dives in the same spot. Although my log book shows otherwise....very fishy!
Lee however made the best of my dives by taking me through coral and pointing out some great sites and interesting marine life.
Snorkel equipment can be borrowed from the shop with a 20$ deposit. There isn't a whole lot to see near the hotel or along the strip, so don't be disapointed if you don't find the time to snorkel. The reef is too far out and motorized and non-motorized watercrafts alike, pay little attention to snorkelers. If you do go out, be sure to use a buoy to indicate you are snorkelling close by...it could save your life. A catamaran nearly clipped me as I failed to use the buoy.

The royal side forbids intruders. If you do not have the corresponding bracelet for the Royal side, security will not allow you to cross over onto the Royal side. We were invited to see a room on the Royal side by some friends, but were asked by security to leave as we entered their section. After assuring him that we would only be a few minutes as we wanted to see their room, he let us go. We were in the room just long enough to get the tour, when security knocked on the door to ask us to leave. He would not leave the doorway until he escorted us off the property. My friends who stayed there also informed me that they were warned to keep it down as they were talking on their balcony during the evening. I was also disapointed with the Royal side when I went to their front desk to leave my friends a message for when they arrived a few days after us. I wasn't sure which room they would be checking into, but luckily, the front desk guy showed me a check in list with all the names & room numbers of guests. I have worked many years in a hotel and I know that that is a huge no-no. I'm sure those Royal snobs would have flipped their lids if they knew of this.

Finally, the check out. If your flight is later in the day, there is a locked room where you can keep your bags until departure. If you require a late check out, request it a day or 2 in advance to ensure your room would even be available to do so. There is obviously an additional fee for this service. When you return your keys and housekeeping has ensured your room is in good order, they will give you a check out coupon, which will allow you to board the shuttle to the airport.

My experience at the airport upon departure is a little frustrating. My friends were 2 kg over their luggage weight allowance and were forced to transfer items to their carry on to respect the 20kg limit. Next, my girlfriend who was travelling with a birth certificate and solemn declaration of citizenship had her birth certificate stamped instead of her declaration. The girl working the booth had her conversation with her co-workers interupted so that she could do her job and see us through. She continued talking to her friends while stamping our papers. She opened my passport, with little regard to what page it opened to and stamped away. Luckily my ppt was creased to open to a blank page and not my info page. She then stamped my girlfriends birth certificate. As we walked away, I realized she did not take my declaration sheet, nor did she stamp the proper document for my girlfriend. I returned to them to sort this out. Once again I had to interupt their conversation as they saw me, but refused to acknowledge me. I didn't get anything more than a giggle and a "oh, its okay". If ever her birth certificate is required to get a new passport, she will have to order a new one, as the stamped certificate is no longer acceptable by Passport Canada standards...not the note I hoped to finish my vacation on.